I've had a couple unfortunate happenings in regards to my modeling career this last week; being stood up and wasting my money.
On Sunday I arrived for the fashion show rehearsal to find no one there and after an hour or so of driving around and making phone calls, I went home. The only way I found out that it has been postponed was by luckily seeing a tweet from the company that is putting it all together. I think it's very unprofessional for these people to not re-turn my phone calls or e-mails. They should have called to let me know what happened in the first place. I can't even begin to explain how furious I was over all of this. I want to say f*ck 'em but modeling is important to me and I was very excited to be chosen as a model for this event.
I took an early flight down to Los Angeles on Thursday to meet with a photographer for a potential beauty campaign. I was really excited as I was initially told I was the company's top pick. I wasn't excited that they refused to pay for my travel to meet with them when they wanted me. Anyway, I meet with the photographer who was very nice and experienced in her field. I flew back a few hours later with a bad feeling. I knew my skin wasn't as clear as it could be but I only had a week to prepare. Needless to say, it was a no and I am crushed. I think it's extremely unfair that I was made to feel that I had to get my butt down to LA as soon as possible without having adequate time to prepare for the meeting when the other models the company is interested in (as far as I know) are not meeting with the photographer for a few more weeks. I honestly thought this was "it" for me. What a disappointment.
I realize these are cases of "it wasn't meant to be" but that doesn't make it feel any better inside. I have every right to feel upset and I'm going to let the feeling subside when the time is right.
I won't let this stop me from pursuing other opportunities, though. Models get rejected from jobs so often. One day someone will like me enough to work with me. And if, perhaps, that day doesn't come I will wipe away the tears (when I'm ready) and figure out what else I'm meant to do with my life. Because I know it is something great, I just haven't found it yet.