June 2, 2011

Friendships: Maintaining the Old & Building the New

I mostly keep my mouth shut when it comes to certain things for fear of rocking the boat, so to speak, but when did that get anyone anywhere? After all, isn't it always better to be upfront with your feelings? Even more so, I'll never get anywhere in life if I always keep quiet (where did the loud mouth I had growing up go?).

On to the point… I miss having friends who I can call up whenever I need them or who I can visit whenever I want. I miss simply hanging out with my girlfriends. I've been keeping in great touch with Kristen and Lauren, and we're always reminiscing about the old days. The ones where we'd stay at each other's places (mostly me at theirs because I wasn't happy in my relationship at the time), where we'd spend hours upon hours of time together… doing things or doing nothing at all. I haven't felt that comfortable with anyone since.

Now I do have a few amazing girlfriends out here whom I love very much, but it feels like the relationships that I have with them are different. It could just be me thinking that way so I don't try to hang out with them as I would with Kristen and Lauren, but it could also be that we simply do not have the same kind of friendship. And if that is the case, that is totally fine. Not all friendships are the same. I'm just at a loss for why these seem so different or what I'm doing wrong.

Maybe it's because we're all at different points in our lives? Is it that we're mostly settled down in marriages, or long relationships, and we'd rather not go out and do things like girls nights or trips? Do our careers take up most of our energy that we don't care to make the effort? It could be a mixture of all of it, it could be more, or maybe it isn't anything specific.

I'm sure some of you may be asking, why are you trying to compare your friendships? I completely understand why you may say that… but I'm not, I'm simply trying to figure out my observations. Perhaps at the end of the day, it will never be the case with the friends I have here. Maybe I need to try harder, or a new way. Maybe I am completely crazy and making all of this up in my head. I highly doubt the last point, but you see where I am going with this. I could easily drive myself crazy thinking of each scenario.

Do you run into similar friendship problems? Have you moved away from home and have had difficulties making new, lasting relationships? I'd love to hear your thoughts. Let's help each other out :)

1 comment:

  1. aw i love you! i feel the same though. even though i have not moved, a lot of my good friends have (like you). Its hard to build new relationships when peoples lives are changing. I do crave girls nights like we used to have, however... sadly... most of my girlfriends just don't do that anymore. :-/ i really don't know what it is, but i feel the exact same way as you do. some days its so easy to shrug it off when no one wants to "hang out" then other days, its like a complete sob fest missing the friends that were there, no matter what. :-/ Anyways... I miss you! And Evan is totally game for coming out to Cali and meeting you and Adam, so we're going to look at flights, for maybe septemberish... :-) I'll keep you posted and we will chit chat! <3