August 22, 2011

Kicked Down and Forced to Fight

Admitting you have a problem is one of the more difficult and embarrassing moments in life. At least it has been for me.

Though I am not addicted to alcohol or drugs, I do struggle with emotional and slight mental health issues and up until recently I've always been afraid of being judged or misunderstood for things out of my control. In turn, I don't open up to very many people who are close to me and I constantly push my problems to the side, instead of pushing past them.

But I'm done…

I'm done playing around, I'm done hiding, and I'm done running away. I am finally starting to accept that I cannot help what's happened in my past and that I cannot change it - but I can get help and I can win. I will win.

I have my first therapy session scheduled for next week, the day after my birthday. I'm nervous as all hell but I'm looking forward to starting off my 25th year of life on the right foot. I always talk about how I want this next year to be the best of my life, for once I truly believe it will be great.

It won't be easy, I know that. I will have some enlightening, positive days when facing my demons but I will also have some extremely dark and emotional ones as well. I'm hoping, deep in my heart, that those around me will understand this and support me through it all… in the blackest of nights and the brightest of days.

At the end of the day, all I truly have is myself in this world and it's about damn time I start cherishing and taking care of me.


  1. sheilam7:56 PM

    Glad to hear your getting help. We all need it. Just don't forget there's people her to help you...if you will let them!

  2. Therapy is great! Be brave and don't hold back!