I have a problem (besides the aforementioned).
I yearn to be everything to everyone. I want to help the world. I want to be everyone's friend. As much as it's a great gesture, it's hindering my growth and ultimately my happiness.
Ever since I moved to California in 2007 I've struggled with friendships. I wanted so desperately to replace the ones I lost through the move and it took me years to realize that wasn't possible. Though since realizing this, it still hasn't been easy.
I haven't yet discovered why it's been so hard to maintain meaningful friendships, but I read a few things this morning that made me think. If you're feeling the same way, I hope the words resonate with you as well.
"You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of."
"It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever."
I have a hard time accepting the fact that people and priorities change because while it’s happening, you think you’re the problem and that you didn’t do enough for that person. When in fact, it’s a natural progression. Just as romantic relationships fail, so do friendships.
I known that the notion of quality over quantity is true, but I have yet to put it into practice. I think it’s because I’ve had so many failed friendships that I believe having as many as possible is, in a sense, protecting myself. But it’s not and I can’t keep doing this to myself.
In order to grow, and move forward, I have to start stepping up and I have to start being more accepting. If I feel a friend isn’t being much of a friend I have to either tell them how I feel or let go because being in limbo is only hurting me.
I have a feeling 2012 will be a year of letting go. I’ve held onto too much for so long.