January 16, 2012

No Desire

Here we go again. More doubt. More uncertainty.

I feel like I’ve hit a wall with my social networks and my blog. I’ve been active on Twitter and my blog for the last two and a half years now and I’ve built a decent network. I’m nowhere close to where I had hoped to be, though.

Thinking about it all, I feel discouraged. Looking at my numbers, I feel discouraged.

I can only post so many quotes, inspirational sayings or articles. And as much as I know that is why most of my audience is here, I’ve grown bored with it.

Changes need to be made.

I want to write and share words that MEAN something to someone. I want my words to matter. I want to make a difference in someone’s life and though I’ve been told I help, it still doesn’t feel that way. Something big is missing.

I feel that part of my problem, if not all, is that I always look at the big picture instead of focusing on the smaller steps I need to take to get there. I envision so much for myself and seeing that I’m not there yet, or that I just can’t get there now, is frustrating.

At the end of the day, I know that I’m not doing what I’m meant to with my life because if I was, I wouldn’t be feeling the way I do day in and day out. Life is supposed to be exciting and inspiring, it’s meant to be lived. And right now, I have no desire to live it.

So even though 2012 hasn’t started off very well for me, at least it’s provided me with some perspective and I hope I am able to turn it around soon.

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